Written By Shaun Coltress

What happened to young girls wanting to be a Princess? Is it just a phase? Where did we go wrong?

Whilst at work, not too far in the past, I read about how an elderly lady of 72yrs had been set upon by a female gang. This unprovoked attack left the elderly citizen with two black eyes to accompany her broken nose.

This prompted me to address the emergence of the, now ever present, female gang.

Female gangs have been traced back as far as the 1800’s, but were few and far between. Women were always seen as the gangs ‘poor relation’, having always been inferior when compared to men. They would regularly be used to hold weapons, as alibi’s or simply as sex toys!

However, in the times that we are currently in, the tables have not been turned, but certainly evened up. More now than ever, the girls are proving that they are up to the challenge of doing the things previously left to or associated with men. They are now playing football, becoming Fire fighters, CEO’s, Lawyers, Pilots and Surgeons.

As the ‘traditional’ female role in society transforms from wife and mother, it is unfortunate enough to also bear the stigma of the negativity that female gangs emit.

I believe that these young girls, generally around the age of 16, are attracted to gangs for a number of reasons. On the face of it, these girls are lured in the excitement of being able to counteract boredom with the feeling of power over their peers or unsuspecting victims. I also think that by joining these gangs, the girls feel a sense of status, recognition and also believe that they are now protected by their non-biological family.

On a more serious note, I think that there are underlying issues that may contribute to this lifestyle. A fair amount of these gang members are likely to live in inner-city impoverished areas that require an aggressive approach in order to limit their appearance of weakness. The harsh reality is that some of these girls live in households where the family nucleus has been destroyed for one reason or another. I will take the cliché example of a lack of a father figure in a young girl’s life.

Imagine if your mum was always at work, trying to make ends meet and you were often by yourself? This could instil a sense of vulnerability as you are quite often alone in the unforgiving streets you may call home. How do you combat this? The answer for so many is to turn to thuggery and a life of crime.

Don’t get me wrong though, it is not at all a requirement that you come from a broken home, live in a gutter estate, be promiscuous or get excluded from school to become submerged in this sadistic culture.

As time has progressed, we have seen girl gangs with many similar characteristics of the males. They tend to get involved at the same sort of age and they are likely to have different roles/ranks within the gang. It is not uncommon for the girls to be committing crimes dressed like boys and quite often adopt a ‘tomboy’ approach during this time of their adolescence. It all aids there ultimate aim of committing the crime as, beyond the view of the ‘hoodie’, it is now more increasingly difficult to tell the sex of the assailant.

The girls are also evolving into more front line activity in this gang warfare. This was personified in late 2008 when a story broke of an 18yr old male being kidnapped by 5 girls and subjected to a 3 and a half hour ordeal that included being set upon with a broom and forced to perform sexual acts on himself. This chilling insight into the acts of violence being carried out by these girls led me to ponder how the world had come to this?

I am of the opinion that when you think of a women, all adjectives ‘soft and cuddly’ spring to mind, but there are a new breed of oestrogen induced females that are roaming the streets that you are most like to label ‘scum’!

The damning truth is, is that there is now little difference between the men and women when it comes to gangs; which is perhaps the most shocking indictment of all!

So, how do we combat this growing endemic amongst teenagers? It is comforting to know that most girls will grow out of this culture before the boys do due to a number of reasons. But this doesn’t hide the fact that there is a new breed of 12 – 13yr olds waiting to be groomed into these vacated gang placements.

Because of this, it is essential that we tackle these female gangs as a community and not leave it solely to the authorities because, after all, we are adults who can help mould the future for these teenagers that have chosen the incorrect path.

Our community leaders must wake up and realise the fact that this is a growing issue. The most effective way to deal with the gang problems involves the cooperation of several groups and sectors that should focus their drive on suppression, intervention and prevention. A coordinated strategy should see these community sectors work with ‘the law’ to develop specific goals and timescales.

Only when those in a position to act are singing from the same hymn sheet, can we truly tackle this issue.

Its time we joined together to take a stand against this vile past time as we do not want our children, siblings or younger cousins growing up to become embroiled in this lifestyle!

Pic Source
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/29/article-0-021BC39400000578-595_468x512.jpg

Why the Circus element? How do you justify £20,000 on a marriage ceremony?

So, a few weeks ago I finally came across a program that had previously caused quite a stir amongst my colleagues. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding really was a worthwhile watch as it gave an intimate insight into the traditionally pricey Gypsy wedding. I was shocked to learn of the extreme amounts of money spent and lengths gone to, on weddings for couples that are often little over the age of 16.

Well, all that got me thinking to myself that maybe, on wider perspective, weddings may be a waste of money!

The concept of marriage spans further back than recorded history actually accounts for and there are many reasons/theories dictated by various cultures and religions as to why people first started to get married. Despite this, it is still something that is very much alive in our daily goings on and because of this; the prices of weddings are actually still rising.

Quite often, a wedding will serve as the 2nd largest financial commitment throughout our lifetime, only usually being exceeded by the cost of a property. Now, I am not a male that is against holy matrimony, but I find it difficult to understand why an act that is guided buy love (an entity that bears no expense) should cost a working class family anywhere upwards of £15,000.

For that price alone, it leads me to believe that a modern wedding is more about the ‘spectacle’, rather than love, commitment or getting the seal of approval from God, Allah, Jah or whoever it may be that the couple in question worship.

This saddens me as I now find that the aim at the forefront of wedding plans go something more like: How am I going to top Devonte and Shaniqua’s castle, horses, doves, fireworks or DJ etc? It just leads me to believe that a substantial proportion of us have lost sight of why we are having the wedding in the first place. I don’t want to come across as though I disapprove of weddings that carry a bit of extra panache, but I don’t believe in spending beyond our levels of control.

Putting it into perspective, the average cost of a UK wedding comes in at a staggering £18,500, which includes the brides outfit at £1,500, food at £4000, photographer at £900 and a honeymoon at £3000. It simply can not be justified in a period of economic downturn and rising divorce figures!

It is true that every woman has probably had her wedding day mapped out since she was 5yrs old and fine tuned by the age of 11 to something reminiscent of Cinderella’s big day. Cute as it is, I think I can guarantee that when grown up, they will be more concerned with being able to spend the day with loved ones in the form of family and friends.

Spending ludicrous amounts of money on an extravagant wedding does not ensure a healthy marriage, as some would be led to believe. What it is likely to do, is leave a newlywed couple, who are trying to find their feet and possibly looking to start a family, battling a hefty debt. Should this money be available, wouldn’t it be more responsible to use it as a deposit for the family home, to start a business or even as a university fund for the offspring? Why can’t these excess funds be used to get ahead in other areas of life?

What I also fail to understand, is where this notion of an expensive wedding being better than a more financially responsible wedding came from. I have been to weddings that were arranged on a streamline budget, but also one that in my view, was over inflated. Now, I can say that for entertainment value, there was not much between the two. Maybe the horse and carriage was nice to see, but how much effect do you think that had on my enjoyment levels… absolutely none!

In my opinion, a wedding is about declaring your love for your partner in front of your family, friends and the one you worship. It is not a step you should take through convenience (i.e. Life Insurance etc), or to put on a cabaret for those around you. Be humble; have a decently sized, modest wedding fuelled by romance that makes for a memorable occasion.

The wedding should be remembered by the tears at the service, the overconsumption of alcohol at the reception, laughter at the speeches and your parents embarrassing you on the dance floor by joining in to ‘Candy’ by Cameo. Your guests are more likely to remember staggering around looking for their shoes after dancing for the whole night, than your exuberant flower arrangement that you could purchase a Ford KA with.

Can we just all take the time out to open our eyes and see that a wedding is about love, not money?

Pic Source
http://myheartofvirginia.com/weddings/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/wedding-photo.jpg
http://www.coachmanslegacy.com/Boston%20Wedding%20Magazine%201%20-%20Copy.jpg
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/5002929/2/istockphoto_5002929-marriage-and-money.jpg
http://www.destination360.com/caribbean/bahamas/images/s/bahamas-wedding.jpg

If you’ve got an idea for a London 2012 Olympic and Paralympics Games volunteering project to improve your community, you could apply for a grant of up to £2,500 to bring your idea to life at http://vinspired.com/vcashpoint

To get your brains-whirring Olympic and Paralympics Games themes include: Sport, Health Culture, Education and Environment

To apply for a vcashpoint grant, you must be aged 16-25, live in England, and be up for running the project yourself. You’ll need to show how your project will help other people (not relatives), the environment or your community and how it has been inspired by London 2012

The Final Entry Date is May 10th!

Is beauty skin deep, do women need a face full of make up or should it be used moderately?

Recently, whilst having some banter with a group of friends, we stumbled across the topic of women wearing make up. An equal compliment of three men and three women meant this ‘banter’ quickly escalated into a debate that threw up a number of views worth discussing.

What astounded me was the difference in views of the men.

There was one male who felt women should be able to express themselves as they wish, myself who has no issue with make up being worn moderately and then the controversial entity who operates a ‘zero tolerance’ policy to make up in all shapes or forms.

The use of make up dates back to Ancient Egyptian times about 3500 BC when figures of Royalty such as Nefertiti and Tutankhamun would routinely wear make up. Although, by the middle ages of the 800’s, the use of artificial cosmetics was now being frowned upon, particularly in the church, as it was in common use by women who would solicit their bodies for sex. As we can see, makeup use has been around for thousands of years, but why is it still as controversial today as it has ever been before?

I believe that everyone should be allowed to manipulate their appearance as they see fit. This does not at all mean that I always condone the outcome of this cosmetic customisation. My decision on approval tends to be based on reasons combined with quantity of make up used. Reasons could include feeling less presentable, less confident, clean or neater with or without the assistance of a trustee Mac pen/brush or whatever!

I don’t find it difficult to understand these methods of the madness as I liken it to a male going to the barbers to get a haircut or even getting our ears pierced in some cases.

However, on what I perceive to be a more negative note, woman have been known to necessitize the use the use of make up in order to fit in amongst peers. This ‘my face is a canvas’ attitude is one that infuriates me as I feel that this shouldn’t need to be the case in the pursuit of perfection. It was once said that imperfections serve as individuality and I couldn’t agree more. I have no problem with women who may use a little blusher and some eye make up in order to compliment or highlight what is already in there.

However, all too often, I would be walking down the street and see a lady that if given a facial wipe to use on her face, it would very shortly be handed back to me in a state only comparable to that of what you would expect to returned from a babies bottom. In situations like these, I am constantly forced to wonder if I can actually ‘see’ the person I am looking at, in a funny sort of way.

Just imagine you met your significant other whilst she had a considerable amount of make up on and continued to date until one day you saw her without make up… How can a man be sure the same level of attraction would exist? Could he feel cheated by his naivety that the woman he had met is not now the woman he is seeing as a direct result of her frequent over use of cosmetics? There are just so many circumstances this could be applied to!

That very last example seemed to set one of the other into a frenzy of exactly why he despises make up with a passion. He was adamant that women should let their skin breathe and was sure that they should find alternatives to make themselves feel better. Dissecting every reason why he adopts his new found Mussolini approach to make up, it created an extremely tense atmosphere!

His argument began with something so trivial, yet so prevalent in all of our lives. I think I speak for all men that when you have on a ‘Daz white’ top and you see a female associate duly covered in 3/4 layers of Max Factor Colour Adapt Foundation at £8.95 a bottle, you lean in for the friendly embrace and leave with very noticeable patch to accompany you for the rest of the day/night.

Standing firm behind the belief that cosmetics aren’t required, he went on to explain that any use of make up is ‘fake’, in that we are truly unable to know a female that feels necessary to de-face herself. Understandably, the women at this point fought back; are you saying that you would never have a relationship with a girl that wore make up? Yes! WHAT!!!!!!!!!

I couldn’t believe what I just heard come out of this young mans mouth, he was appearing to have vendetta against lip gloss. Surely the hatred could not be concentrated to such a level he saw the Devil in even Body Shop eyeliner? Sure as hell, the male chauvinist slur’s started to fly and things took a turn for the worst.

The debate did hover very close to boiling point, but to be fair from what I heard, I believe I managed to figure out what I deem to be the rationale behind the use of make up in women.

Whilst many would love to believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder or skin deep, they usually don’t!

They desire to be that girl with the beautiful clear skin, a sparkle in her eye, those kissable lips and that cute button nose. They want prospective spouses to look at them and think ‘she is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen’. It leads me to believe that without these attributes, many women may believe that they’re never going to be good enough and destined to be alone in the later years as crazy as it may sound..

Will women ever truly love the skin that they are in and will men learn to accept a lady who is trying to better herself with a little assistance from some powder? There are just too many angles to this topic for me to cover so the only thing left to say is ‘discuss’…

Pic Sources

http://www.helpfulhealthtips.com/Images/B/Basic-makeup.jpg
http://www.theboudoironline.com/assets/images/Full%20Make%20Up%20Kit1.jpg

Kissing is the act of pressing one’s lips against the lips of another. A kiss may be used to express the sentiments of love, passion and affection amongst others. One interesting aspect of kissing is the ‘first kiss’, not the first kiss ever but the first kiss with that new ‘special’ person.

There seems to be an aura/stigma surrounding the first kiss and I’ve often wondered why. I’m seriously at risk of sounding like a teenager but I eagerly anticipate the first kiss and am a firm believer that with a good first kiss something new has been created and you should be left feeling those butterflies in your stomach **cringe**.

In a Carrie-esque manner (Sex and the City) I got to thinking about the nature of ‘The First Kiss’ and decided to investigate first kisses based on research, my own experience and the experience of some friends of mine and ended up with 5 reasons as to why first kisses are important.

SCIENCE

First comes the Science bit…Apparently in a biological sense kissing is all about ‘Chemical Compatibility’. Studies show that men actually use kisses as a way of judging their partners fertility, so that first kiss may be more important than you think!

A study at Rutgers showed that men tend to prefer wet kisses as believe it or not they are trying to taste a women’s oestrogen levels in an attempt to gauge her fertility whilst at the same time give the woman a taste of their testosterone! Highly interesting stuff, but I can’t say it didn’t lead to me consider kissing in a new light!

Science also goes someway to explaining why ‘most’ people find kissing to be a highly pleasurable experience. When we kiss it is proposed that a cascade of neural messages and chemicals transmit signals that lead to tactile sensations, sexual excitement, feelings of closeness, motivation and even euphoria.

There are so many nerve endings in our lips that connect to the feel-good portion of our brain. When two people kiss, oxytocin the feel good hormone is released, making their bodies feel good and bringing them closer together.

INTIMACY

Intimacy, kissing is a very intimate gesture, some would argue more intimate than sex itself (prostitutes don’t kiss remember). Kissing is critical to bonding and to making love, even without physically having sex. It is as close as you can become to another person, and it communicates so much.

“A kiss is very affectionate , whereas sex doesn’t have to be at all, most people have never made love before” Bria, 23. Thus the first kiss signifies a new level of intimacy in the relationship, it shows that you like and are comfortable enough with the person to take that next step.

Kissing has become a ritual part of the courtship process and most relationships do not usually progress to deeper levels without first kissing. Of all the people I questioned before writing this article only one failed to mention intimacy as an important aspect of the fist kiss.

Big Mike, 23 said “The first kiss is always important, it’s the entry phase into a new level of the relationship, intimacy” whilst Kayla, 22 said “It may only be 3 seconds long but it says so much. Maybe it says more to the female than the male. It says that you are into each other. It’s a sign of a new level of intimacy” Interestingly although intimacy was naturally linked to kissing it was not always in a positive manner, and I found that some may dislike kissing because of the intimacy it requires.

Bria, 23 said “A kiss is very affectionate , whereas sex doesn’t have to be at all, most people have never made love before. Kissing is very intimate never I’ve never felt in love with a guy enough to enjoy the intimacy of ‘the kiss’, but I do think kissing can say a lot about how you feel about each other, you don’t kiss anyone, some guys say they’d sleep with a promiscuous girl but they wouldn’t kiss her!” Jerome, 20 said “I really don’t like kissing to be honest, but maybe my wifey might get a bly.” So it can clearly be seen that whether liked or not kissing and intimacy are intrinsically linked and the first kiss is the gateway to these new levels of intimacy.

SEXUAL

Kissing is the first act that that involves a sexual element. The first kiss is the first time people can express the passion they feel for each other, the chemistry that exists is free to flow and as we all know that kissing doesn’t only involve the lips but often the hands too it can get very heated!

I feel it can often show how compatible two people may be as lovers, and serve as an indication of things to come, I.e. if the kissing is hot one might presume that the antecedent foreplay and sex will be also be hot because you just connect on that level!

This aspect of kissing is particularly important for males as research suggests that men place a greater importance on the sexual element of a kiss and may perceive it as a woman’s ’surrendering’ act, signalling a higher likelihood of sex. Big Mike, 23 said “ You have to leave a lasting impression with your lips, not to say if you can’t kiss you’ll be whack in other departments but a great kisser usually equals a great lover, I’m not sure I could have a relationship with someone who is not a kisser or can’t kiss.”

PURITY

Purity; it sounds like a weird one, especially after the sexual aspect was just highlighted but kisses are actually related to purity. The kiss has routes in religion, serving as a ritual gesture of affection in both Islam and Christianity.

In addition to this it can clearly be seen that a marriage is initially bonded a through a kiss that is deemed as pure enough to be viewed by God and everyone in attendance whilst the consummation of marriage must occur in private.

In terms of a first kiss if someone kisses you in an overly excited or sexual way on the first kiss you may very well enjoy it but you might also consider their intentions and whether you would consider pursuing a serious long-term relationship with them.

It seems that the way a first kiss is performed is particularly important and I personally feel that this issue of a certain level of purity is at it’s core. Although I did not mention this matter of the nature of a first kiss to my friends two of them alluded to having a slow but sensual rather than wild, rough and erotic first kiss and one for exactly that reason.

“ No more awkward moments, just look into her eyes, get the eye contact and go for it, make sure they are slow and sensual at first, make her feel relaxed” Big Mike, 23. “ If it’s gentle and unobtrusive I think it shows how patient a man is and that they are with you for you and not just a sexual intention.” Kayla, 22.

MAINTENANCE

Kissing plays an integral role in the Maintenance of relationships and research suggests that we use it as a bonding mechanism as well as a means to test the status of a relationship.

Dr Glenn Wilson, an expert in relationships at London’s Institute of Psychiatry, said: “Kissing is used by everyone as a bonding and testing mechanism” Thus the first kiss is important as if the kissing is not right from the start and unable to evoke and convey a certain level of intimacy it’s likely problems will be encountered later down the road.

It is believed that a relationship that lacks kissing will often lack intimacy and that kisses may be used to re-ignite the feelings that were present when a couple had that first kiss. I know Eric Roberson feels me on this one!

Eric Roberson - The Power That Kisses Hold

So there you have it science (chemistry), intimacy, sex, purity and maintenance are my 5 keys to unlocking the power of the first kiss.

In addition to these keys I also discovered that my friends reported a certain amount of nervous energy in regards to the first kiss.

Bria, 23 “The first kiss can be scary, it’s not just about having the skills but it needs added affection and everyone kisses differently so you need to adjust.”

Angel, 22, “I’ve always disliked kissing, including the first kiss, mainly out of fear of not knowing what I’m doing and being uncomfortable with expressing my sexuality.”

Clarissa, 18 “First kisses are awkward because you don’t know what the other person is thinking.”

Sasha, 20, “I find it awkward and scary because you don’t know how it’s meant to be. I find my head going this way and that way, but I like a goodnight kiss on a first date because it gives a taster!”

Big Mike, 23 “ Going in for the first kiss is a bit crazy sometimes, there could be books, articles and blogs about it but only you can judge when the time is right. I’ve realised as I’ve got older that waiting for that moment of silence when you’re both looking at each other is long!”

Kayla, 22, “ It is exciting, nerving and hopefully enjoyable”

Seems that whether it be nervous excitement or all out fear everyone anticipates fist kisses with relative trepidation so here’s some top tips, based on these responses.

1. Variety is the spice of life - Move from short, soft kisses into longer, deeper ones, then back again…
2. Party for two! Do it in private - you want it to be special and a moment just shared between you two
3. Easy does it - choose your moment and gently move in

First kisses hold a great deal or power, so go on… harness that power!

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”-Ingrid Bergman-

* pseudonyms used to preserve anonymity

Sources :
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6975794.stm
http://www.ayushveda.com/mens-magazine/wet-kisses/

Pictures:
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs13/f/2007/086/4/a/You_May_Now_Kiss_Your_Bride_by_nickbonn.jpg
http://media.photobucket.com/image/kiss%20black%20and%20white/Fleurie_Fleurie/BLACK%20and%20WHITE%20and%20RED/kiss-red-black.jpg
http://creativebits.org/files/sex-and-the-city-g4.jpg

Ok so I was doing my daily internet rounds when I stumbled across something that made me think I better book an appointment with my opticians. I did a double take and realised that in fact my eyes were not deceiving me, after seeing the headline “Cheryl Cole voted most inspirational woman of the decade“.

Now I have absolutely nothing against Mrs Cole but was genuinely mystified that a mediocre pop singer who is more famous for whether or not she’s wearing her wedding ring could ever be worthy of such an immense title, and I’m sure even Cheryl herself is baffled by the results and I can only hope and pray that this survey was completed by a group of giggly twelve year old pre teens.

The word ‘Idol’ has a totally different meaning in this generation of fame hungry wannabes, and for centuries young people have looked up to stars and celebrities but what is different about today? It’s the fact that there is an impartial imbalance of real life heroines and inspirational women who simply cannot compete with the emaciated starlets and pop stars we have to offer.

Women such as Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor where the celebrities of way back when, but at least they had the talent to match the hysteria which very much existed. Now we have the likes of the gruesome Katie ‘plastic’ Price and Cocaine snorting chav Kerry Katona to look up to. Women who have less talent than a bowl of Coco Pops and stupidity in abundance and it’s scary. Harsh I know but what we have forgotten to instil in the younger generation is that loving Cheryl Cole’s music is OK but loving Cheryl Cole is in some ways dangerous.

Cheryl recently launched a tirade via her twitter at the press blasting that whether she wears her ring is not a subliminal message to love rat husband Ashley, and that he is well aware of anything that is happening in their private lives…..yawn! Now we all know they’re getting back together and this false and misleading game of spot the ring is getting old and is frankly insulting to her fans.

What has happened where we are idolising talentless nobodies instead of real women making a real difference to the world. My mother a mid wife who works every hour God sends for the NHS without even the smallest gesture of appreciation and guess what a whole £1.85 pay increase (somebody call Bentley we’ve arrived) is an example of a strong positive role model. A female solider in Iraq, a Nobel prize winner, or a humanitarian and there’s plenty of other examples of women who unfortunately are ignored to make way for vacuous air heads with nothing remotely valuable to offer.

I could go on forever but perhaps we should really start to think about who we want the future generation to start looking up to because if all of the above are the strongest candidates then I for one am very worried

Then you have people in your ear telling you that you’ll find someone better so you should ‘just’ move on…yeah I blaaady would if it was that easy!

You know when they say that some things are better said than done? well getting over someone is definitely one of those things. You  remember all the other guys/girls you’ve ever liked or dated, then in dismay you think to yourself, ‘what the hell was I thinking!’ Well before you can get to that point in your life when you can say ‘F U!’ you need to first jump over that hurdle.

I gave one friend some advice on how to let an ex go and guess what?! needless to say she is failing miserably! I don’t understand why because I found it did wonders for me. Who knows; maybe these tips will work for you if you happen to be that person who made an attempt to jump over the hurdle and…erm…fell over.

1. Compile a list. It could just be a mental list of all the reasons why this person is not good for you. You can start your list off by touching the major things i.e. he wears pink boxers with love hearts on them or he’s hairline is too far back Once all the bad things about this person outweighs the good, it will kick start your will power to move on.

*Sidebar: It might also be a good idea to have this song on heavy rotation to get your bitter juice flowing!

2. Did you both consider yourselves as best friends? Well, this person is going to have to adjust to being best friends with your answer phone from now on! Don’t answer their calls! Ok, ok, that is a little bit childish *slaps wrist* what you should do is answer but you don’t have to entertain the call, say something like you’re busy so can’t talk right now (hoping he/she doesn’t call back).

It is imperative that you keep conversations short and sweet  especially if the last time you spoke to them was…the night before! How on earth did my friend expect to get over her ex-bf if they spent every night on the phone? it was never going to happen! The less you speak to each other, the more distant from them you’ll feel.

3. Following on from that point…DON’T STALK THEM ON FACEBOOK!!! No, no, NO! You can be extreme by completely deleting them as a friend or just adjust your account settings to not receive news feed about them. The last thing you want to see is them tagged in a photo having fun without you! This is not restricted to just Facebook; even something as simple as asking friends about them don’t do it.

4. Go out and socialise a tad bit more. Having a laugh with friends is always a good way to keep you smiling and feeling positive. Mingling and meeting new people is fun too, who knows, you could even meet someone new (wink-wink, nudge-nudge!). The more you meet new people, the more you do realise that there reallyare more fish in the sea. But DON’T use anyone as a rebound; that ish is not cool!

5. Try to avoid seeing them as much as possible. This can be extremely difficult if you share a handful of mutual friends but it can be done. Whatever you do, don’t arrange to meet up with them…why would you do that?! Yes, best believe my friend would meet up with her ex after work everyday! *shakes head*

6. Get a hobby. Keep yourself busy to minimise the amount of time spent thinking about him/her. Getting involved in something new is always great because it will be something you get to experience without them.

7. Just be upfront. Be honest and straightforward by letting the person know that you want to move on. Ask them to understand by giving you the space you need in order to move on properly. One thing I’ve noticed about these situations is that most times the person you’re trying to get over doesn’t want you to! They love the attention so much that they deliberately do things that will keep you hanging on. In cases like this, it may mean that you have to result in telling the person that you don’t want anything to do with them anymore until you are fully over them. Harsh? Oh well, such is life!

So there you have it, my seven handy tips on how to cry a river, build a bridge and get over it; and trust me, it will work! But don’t expect it to happen over night because it won’t. I know this will sound cliché but time really is the best solution for this situation and one day you WILL look back and say ‘I can’t believe I ever liked you!’

Pic Sources
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/03/24/fall_2503_wideweb__470x263,0.jpg
http://learnjapanese.today.com/files/2008/08/no_facebook.JPG
http://blogs.rsvp.com.au/Couple-Breaking-up.jpg

I travel back in time to the day you left me, exposed, alone, cold. Like a child, I relive every moment.
I repaint every picture, every character, every object. Each brushstroke fills a space that was once left dormant
Revealing a masterpiece of destruction; the vivid imagery left scarred by the simple context
The dress and the suit, this ink to this pad, you and me….black and white
I wonder what the repercussions of revealing this may be, inevitably tears will be shed.
Yet as I weigh up the pros and cons on this scale of my life, I trust in the spirit to lead as he wishes. Knowing this was not prompted by my own vision.
But by something deeper, for in your mind was a mutual diversity that to you could never be
The commitment too powerful for you to apprehend. Blinded by the element of love, I was unable to see.

Yet I am called to love? This same love that made me smile brought tears to my eyes an impaired vision.
This same love that picked me up pushed me down, broke me, left me in pieces.
I travel back in time to the day you left me, I stand in front of the one I love, I stand in front of the one I loved.
One of them loving me through and through, the other one was you.
I stand in front of an incomplete image of someone who is almost unrecognizable,
Were it not for my heartbeat, the song that echoes in my head, the quivering of my hands, as I try to keep balance, were it not for the familiar look in your eyes you would
be a stranger. Ironic that in that precise moment you showed me the real you.
The stage was set for the confrontation and you like so many wilted.

So round and around I go, confusion still reigns and emotions are still ablaze. I struggle to find meaning, to let go. I struggle not to regret, not to resent, I struggle not to love and not to hate.
My hand still in control and the ink continuously flows, while the other hand soothes the bulging belly below. You are the core of what I create and you don’t even know and though explicitly stated I know you’d never be able to comprehend this puppet show, this classic opera this thriller, this…. what is this? Though explicitly stated, I still can’t fully comprehend this. What is this? A question only you could answer. And as the ink runs dry and my hands tremble, my thoughts of you are only explained through the tear drops trickling along my ball point pen.
This tear stained log of my history now lies beneath a mounting pile and as I continue to cry, thoughts continue to run through my mind.
The vision begins an automatic reply.
With no delay I toss and turn and with my head buried in my pillow I scream out loud to vent. I hear the tick tocking of the clock and tip tapping of the rain against my window and as I find the strength to sit up, I hear a knock. I hear a whisper, a grunt, a cry.

Written by F.Johnson & L.Mason

Nani is a rising start with attributes of the current record club appearance holder, Ryan Giggs.

The ability to run at players with pace and skill finished off with a great delivery of crosses suggests that there is a lot to look forward to in the development of the 21 year old.

What also works in United’s favour is the experience Nani has gained in his first season. Along with numerous appearances in domestic and European competition Nani can be proud of the fact that he has had a more successful first season than Cristiano Ronaldo.

Some may look at the table and argue that the more goals scored by Ronaldo suggests that his season was more successful but it is important to realise what both Ronaldo and Nani were bought for and where they play. Both players were signed as wingers whose main priorities are to fly down the wings of a pitch and provide crosses for the front players.

Whereas goals are a vital bonus towards team display it is also important that there is a provider for the goal scorers so as to provide an outlet. This is where and why I think Nani’s first season was more of an achievement than Ronaldo’s. Warranted Nani started his career at Manchester United a year older but it is still a heavily successful season for a player of his age especially in a season which saw United lift two major trophies.

Nani is slowly following in Ronaldo’s footsteps but should create his own legacy. Indeed his gradual improvement may not mirror the goal expeditions of his counterpart but as a deliverer of assists, his array of passing and visual awareness will be something to look forward to. The formation of United’s team may suit Ronaldo more but what we will see with Nani on the field is a substantial effect on where players such as Rooney, Tevez or any other strikers are played.

Ronaldo’s constant search for a goal has forced players such as Rooney to play on the left which to some extent works but prevents Rooney from playing his favourite position and providing a goal threat. Nani is a winger and solely that, allowing the strikers to thrive, especially when Fergie reverts to a 4-4-2 formation.

For Manchester United and football fans alike it would be magical for both Nani and Ronaldo to play together at Manchester United and along with Rooney, Anderson and Tevez etc spearhead the 4th team in Fergie’s unrivalled managerial era. However it is unlikely to happen for a substantial period of time as Ronaldo is mentally unsettled. Let’s hope Nani doesn’t follow in his footsteps.

Nani, for the time being provides Manchester United with assurance. Assurance that he will stay at Man Utd, assurance of improvement and assurance of a successful future at the club. Cristiano Ronaldo provides only the assurance of improvement, where this improvement lies is looking less likely to be in the theatre of dreams.

Pic Source

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0bMV58w4KLeBi/610x.jpg
http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08/sport/naniAP_450x400.jpg
http://coke.blog.is/users/d8/coke/img/c_documents_and_settings_gulli_my_documents_my_pictures_nani_og_ronaldo.jpg

After such an illustrious season courtesy of the “Sultan of Style” Cristiano Ronaldo, I’m sure the majority would answer the title with the words “Then see you later Nani”.

However this young writer begs to differ; whereas many see the luxuries of the present, they fail to look at the bigger picture which is the comfortability of the future of Manchester United, Nani representing the latter.

Sir Alex Ferguson is in the enviable position of developing his 4th team of world football domination, but is subconsciously deterred by the inevitable fact that Ronaldo will not be a part of that team in years to come. Ronaldo 23, who many consider to have carried the united team on his back last season, has not shied away from stating his desire to play in Spain in the near future. Unsettling the minds of many fans, the wing wizard’s love for Real Madrid has caused minor controversy in the club Camp but major ammunition for media manipulation. Is it time for Ferguson to cash in on the world’s best player?

Many will tell you no but small yet visible signs suggest that maybe it is best to sell Ronaldo once a replacement has been recognised. Ronaldo is at a current stage where his mind isn’t with Man Utd even though his heart may be. Time after time we have seen sources including those from himself claiming that he wants to play for Real Madrid. The money and the lifestyle of Spanish living coupled with the lure of Real Madrid and their reputation as the original Los Galacticos means it is a losing battle for Manchester United to keep him. Psychologically United may be losing the battle as Ronaldo’s mentality is changing and sudden serge of ego related behaviour has crept through the once quiet and humble character.

On the pitch his strengths are more than evident but fans claim his showboating caters to his ego. The constant flicks and step-overs are a proven source of anguish for both opponents and fans. Could this be referred to as cocky or over confident? If so then it is a very small percentage of ego-driven behaviour as those are a part of his game and manoeuvres not unfamiliar to top professional players over the years.

(Henry scoring a free-kick versus Wigan and sarcastic commenting towards the referee…cocky? Robinho’s numerous step-overs before going past a player….over confident? Ronaldinho flicking the ball over the same player four times…cocky?) Im sure “no” would be the unanimous answer to those examples. However it is another part of Ronaldo’s game that compliments ego driven behaviour…the whine.

Ronaldo is often prone to complaining when he doesn’t get his way. Whether it be from a crunching tackle or a pass that didn’t quite find him, he’s ego has somehow caused him to complain at that very same moment each time and not concentrate on the impending counter attack from the opposing team. Instead he stays standing either swinging his arms in the air or holding his hips in dismay….not exactly team behaviour. A lack of defending may cost him medals. For now it is yet to be seen, as he has received all trophies at the theatre of dreams. What is of even more concern is the sudden ego reflected in his interviews. “When it’s said that I don’t play well against the big teams it does not annoy me because I know I am the best”. This quote startled me, Is cocky the new humble? I think not. Could Ronaldo be delving into his own hype? I think so.

We now have a situation where Ronaldo is the best player in the world, knows it and has won everything at Manchester United. He also causes confusion about whether he wants to stay at the club whilst suggesting that Real Madrid is his future. It seems this club isn’t big enough for him even though he is yet to reach his peak. So what’s next? Simple, nurture his replacement.

This is where Nani fits in

Click HERE for PART 2

Pic Sources
http://cristianoronaldo.today.com/files/2009/03/cristiano_ronaldo_sitting_on_the_pitch.jpg
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3518/3299536422_825838f1c4.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/31107714%40N05/3299536422/&usg=___vx2YZBH6q_b3LcNGCuXm9aqIao=&h=500&w=362&sz=117&hl=en&start=4&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=zc9MzRCVx1xXyM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnani%2Band%2Bronaldo%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DG%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26tbs%3Disch:1
http://i35.tinypic.com/2u97bk5.jpg