The Do’s & Dont’s of Raving

Posted on 05. Nov, 2009 by admin in Life and Style

Written by NUNYA!

Do get there early!! - That doesn’t mean you have to be the first ones there because we all know the party doesn’t really pop off ’til a couple hours after opening time. However be there relatively early to avoid long lines (unless you’re V.I.P of course…psh like that means anything these days), the worse feeling is standing outside in the cold and it starts raining on your suede shoes or your unprecedented weaves. It’s an even worser feeling when the doors shut before you get to the front leaving you fighting a losing battle with the bouncers or having an early night with BBC News 24 or CNN.

Don’t wear stunners - They are no longer cool (not that they ever were). It is not sunny by any stretch of the imagination so there isn’t any need for them. You look like a superhero with no powers whatsoever, dont do it!

Do drink, dance & bubble - Why else are you at a rave for? Now I know we aren’t all dancers and some of us who think we are dancers are extremely mistaken (dancing to the words rather than the beat) but if you’re at a party at least enjoy yourself by bubbling and having a drink or two. Who goes to a rave just to stand there? Nonsense!…And you paid too? Absolute Nonsense!

Don’t sport a screwface - Unless you’re angry at the DJ for playing a whack song or you’re tired of those stupid channel 4 documentaries don’t put so much effort in screwing people. You’ve come to a party to drink and enjoy yourself so spreading negative vibes is not needed. Some people just can’t help it but come on…

Do things politely - Now yes ladies I know a lot of you go to raves just to enjoy yourselves and aren’t looking for a man but it’s inevitable that a guy will try and move to you; it’s in their genes, what do you expect if you’re looking that good? If you aren’t feeling his advances, let him down gently, he’ll respect you for it and only cry on the inside. As for the guys, approach girls politely, you may even have a better chance with a reasonable approach and again the girl will respect you for it

Don’t Fight - Unless provoked…scratch that even if you’re provoked, leave it, it’s unnecessary. You wanna waste money you spent on a bottle by hitting someone with it? You wanna ruin clothes for the sake of fighting? You wanna end a party early and get kicked out? It’s long!! Even as adults there’s still likely to be fights over mediocre situations…..sad, sad, sad.

Do tip Uncle Justice - Gentleman when you go to the restroom you’re more than likely to be confronted by a gentleman with a smile…the restroom attendant. He’ll be hospitable and deliver one-liners like “If you dont rinse, you cant be a prince” or “wash your hands or it will squash your plans…with the ladies”. Be nice and tip him because although we may have encountered the credit crunch (pssh), to be a restroom attendant you must have credit munch! A nice gesture goes a long way.

Don’t leave home without gum/mint - Ah Ah! This “don’t” right here….vital! Have you ever smelt alcohol mixed with bad breath? My god! smells like death. Tic Tacs are cheap, chewing gum is cheap, there’s no excuses. Either that or brush your teeth before you leave because smell is a strong sense and our noses are veeeery sensitive.

Do look and smell good - This should go without saying however my previous observations at raves beg to differ. Gentleman by the lord’s grace would you please cream your hands? It’s not about ashy knuckles and crust in between your fingers. You dont want women to think you’ve been hi-fiving chalk and flour. And to both sexes please make sure deodorant is potent. If you are unfortunate to have deodorant but still perspire quite easily then resort your movements to just a 2-step on the dancefloor. Ok I will allow you 10 seconds of the harlem shake but that’s it!

Don’t forget your I.D - So many times over the years I’ve been out with a group of friends and one of us somehow forgets to bring their I.D. That is the most jarring situation because that one person has spoilt it for everyone! I mean I still go inside regardless, but the next morning when I wake up I’m like “grrrr!”….don’t forget your I.D!

Do wear dark colours if you sweat easily – It’s highly unfortunate to be a serial sweater and come across the obstacle that is a packed rave….you WILL sweat. Best advice is if you endeavour to look presentable and have a good time, dark colours would be best suited. Wet patches aren’t attractive to the eye but they sure are visible.

Dont attempt the “Candy Dance” if you suck at it – It’s bad enough having to hear the song Aaaaaaaall the time without fail but from when this track has been on heavy rotation for a good 6 years in addition to when it first came out you have no excuse not to know the dance. If you still don’t know sit/stand and watch the rest do it and dwell in the sadness of what could have been. Nothing worse than getting your toes stepped on by someone with no rhythm. Practice makes perfect yeah? Practice at home then!

Do find something to say BEFORE you dance with her – Game is subject to opinion….but observations show that not all men possess “ultimate” game; so 8 times out of 10 if you just decide to dance behind a girl with no interaction first, you will get rejected faster than Nick Griffin at a MOBO Awards

Dont aggravate the designated driver – If you’re not driving, don’t aggravate the designated driver. You do not want to get them to the point where they decide to leave early; that pretty much designates you to and early night….or even worse a new ride home

Do use your money wisely – If you come to a rave with less than £100 don’t spend it all in one on a bottle trying to compete with the ballers and 419ers; trying to impress anyone let alone the opposite sex with material things is actually a loser move, get a couple of glasses of champs or mixers first, you never know what you might need the rest for. As for those with a lot more in your pocket, buying a bottle and pouring the drink on the floor epitomises stupidity above anything else. Spend to enjoy not to waste.

Dont let him buy you a drink then leave – That’s just disrespectful ladies. If a guy offers to buy you a drink and you’re not interested, at least let him know first so he can make a decision on whether to continue with the purchase. An emptier wallet and bruised ego is a recipe for beef.

Do judge a book by its cover – Yes….If you’re a female and your shorts/skirt are high enough to look like a belt or your top or dress is revealing DONT get upset if you’re being approached provocatively all over the place. As Chris Rock said “You may not be a hoe, but you’re definitely wearing a hoe’s uniform”

Dont judge a look by it’s colour – Science has proved that the brighter the colour the girl wears, the less interested she will have in being approached (ok im lying about the science part). Dont be fooled by the eye-catching colours of female garments, those girls aren’t always likely to give you the light of day. Darker shades are more conservative and actually attract a more calmer approach.

HEY IT’S ALL OPINION…HAVE YOUR SAY, WHAT OTHER DO’S AND DONT’S CAN YOU THINK OF?

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