THE TOP 5 USELESS SHOES (WHICH HAVE SOLD MILLIONS!!!)

Posted on 11. Oct, 2009 by G.Anaman in Fashion, Life and Style

Oxford Street, the home of £7 an hour part-time jobs, serial bargers and the ignored christian with the speakerphone. Indeed Im often seen scowering down the high-street retail centre and rather than encountering some of the most annoying faces ever, I find myself head down sifting through the maze of feet. The variety of footwear had me thinking about the “progress” that’s been made with regards to shoes and despite my amazement at “chav’s choice number 1” being a hot choice it hit me….not only do people wear these as a business product but it has proved very successful. It lead me to write the top 5 shoes that have not only been successful but are at the same time….how do you put it..erm..waste?!?

5. UGGS…..BOTH REAL AND FAKE!!

The Australian shoe, “Uggs” swept the nation and had people looking more like Eskimos in the Arctic than pedestrians trying to keep their feel warm with a sense of style in the winter. Like all big brands, fakes are inevitable. Sadly these fakes had peoples’ feet looking like they had broken ankles as the side of their feet scrape the pavement in what has popularly become known as “lean – off”. Even worse still is the assumption that Uggs are somewhat unisex?!?!? Proposterous!!

4. NIKE HUARACHE……

Where even to begin? Previously seen on the feet of ASBO – ridden teens who shop only in JD Sports and Footlocker, these trainers can only be described as an abomination. Arguably Nike’s worst trainer but for another later on in the list, this shoe would not get a look in if it were not for the “Nike” imprinted on the strap (and yes I had them but they were all white LOL!).

3. REEBOK WORKOUTS!

Absolute Shambles….that is all. A quick message to all still trying to claim that these trainers were “hard”, please let it go…they are poorthetic!!

2. NIKE CORTEZ

Nike Cortez, also known as “Chavs’ Choice Number 2” is the worst Nike shoe ever made…period! I was once giving the shoe passionate abuse to my ex girlfriend and asked her if she ever owned a pair to which she replied that she didn’t. A few minutes later, whilst cleaning the rubbish from underneath her bed, I found a vile and disgusting shoe. It was a Nike Cortez shoe. We broke up in that second.

1. AND THE WINNER IS…..REEBOK CLASSICS!!

There could only ever be one winner and in my mind this shoe is the undisputed champ. I don’t care whether u had them with the ripple bottom, the ice ripple bottom, the high top version or any other useless limited edition version, Reebok Classics (also known as “Chavs’ Choice Number 1) is the epitome of waste in a shoe which sold millions. If I saw Beyonce walking towards me with a look in her eyes that suggested that she wanted me right there and then and I looked down at her feet and saw Reebok Classics, I would decline her in disgust (obviously half a second later I would slap myself as a reminder never to be so stupid and then would act as every heterosexual man would towards her advances).

Pic Sources
http://www.sneakerfiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/nike-court-huarache-sample-2.jpg
http://cdn.overstock.com/images/products/0/774/P11590895.jpg
http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/pix/2008/11/ugg-boots-415×774.jpg

Tags: Featured